Make it fast and sexy. Or House Party 3. Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. Whillenholly: Instead of "Jay and Silent Bob Will Return In", it now reads, "Jay and Silent Bob have left the building." They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. Jay: But funny. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN! Well, look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Chrissy: And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that you's guys are a couple of little. No, you the man, and that's the problem. Go to hell! Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) Quotes Showing all 141 items Holden : If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank. Brent: Brent: Jay: Hey, little man! Justice: Oh, you mean the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement? This page has been archived and is no longer updated. All these assholes on the Internet are callin' us names because of this fuckin' stupid movie. THE SIGN on the back of the car said "Critters Of HOLLYWOOD", YOU DUMB FUCK! Kevin Smith's previous movies always seemed to be something of a mixed bag. Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you're supposed to be doing this week. When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! [slightly amused] Why didn't Miramax option his other comic instead. It alternates film dialogue with songs of various genres that appear in the film. You want some of this? At least Holden had the good sense to leave his name off of it. I'll be right here waitin'. Silent Bob: Then I want to pinky you while I stick in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches, and fuckin' spanks it in a Dixie cup. Hmm, I don't know. You the man. Jay: Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch! This guy'll suck your dick. What is your damage, little boy. Okay, play it cool, hot shot. Five hours and not a single ride. Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that! Don't change the subject. P.S. Hiding inside a diner, the pair dress Suzanne as a child and pretend to be a gay couple, with Suzanne as their kid. I didn't spit in it sir. See, here's the pulse. We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer. We don't want to rub the C.L.I.T. Wow! Jay: Cock-Knocker: Tell you what: let's settle this monetarily. I'll give you half of what I make. Whillenholly: Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them to the black market and leave them in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice. He is depicted as an unemployed slacker, living with his parents and lacking the motivation and maturity appropriate to his age. [after tossing Brent out of the van] Well, if we were gay, that's certainly the way I'd see it. 1 Continuity mistake: During the shootout at the end, J and SB are hiding behind the car and a shot pierces the car between their heads. COMMANDER! There's a script for this movie? Silent Bob shakes his head]. Seeing the film's negative reception online,[10] the pair set out for Hollywood to prevent the film from tainting their image, or at least to receive the royalties owed to them. The filmmaker, who has been telling stories with the characters of Jay and Silent Bob since 1994's Clerks, used the latest movie -- his first one in the shared universe of Clerks, Mallrats,. Hooker #1: And you know what they do to you in jail. Keep it up, beatnik, I'll feed ya to the fuckin' dog! Shut the fuck up, before I shoot you where you stand in your pansy red booties. Deleted Scenes with Intros There are 42 deleted scenes on offer here. Do you want to get shot? James Van Der Beek: Actually, there's a funny story behind that. They've got a monkey in there? [the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob]. Jay: Man, chicks in Hollywood are so stuck-up. Jay: Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens. Fuck you and your Dawson's Crap! There is a newer version of this item: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back [Blu-ray] $34.99 (4,241) Only 1 left in stock - order soon. Opening text: Sheriff: NO! I always thought the phrase, "I laughed until I cried," was just an oxymoron. It was just a tranquilizer. Miramax? [to Silent Bob] Whillenholly: Passerby: Devil Jay: She doesn't want to go back to the lab. There are a few outtakes worth seeking out in this featurette, but the rest is dreck. You know what? I can't believe Judi Dench played me. Your friend's a fucking clown shoe, you know that? Well, um, let me just talk to the other girls and get back to you. Jay: In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: 8.2 . [17] Scott Tobias of The A.V. I didn't think so. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the fucking stink nuggets! That was just another paean to male adolescence and its refusal to grow up. Though it'll go without saying ten minutes or so into these proceedings, View Askew would like to state that this film is - from start to finish - a work of comedic fantasy, not to be taken seriously. Whillenholly: When Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) are finally forced to stop hanging out by the Quick-Stop by a restraining order, they discover that a movie based on the comic that's based on them, Bluntman and Chronic, is in production. Scribd is the world's largest social reading and publishing site. What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something? Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a fuckin' cartoon. You know, after about five movies, I'm starting to realize that. Something sweet, ya big goof. Don't you ever want anything more for yourself? Dogma: Directed by Kevin Smith. Please turn it on so that you can experience the full capabilities of this site. It's a Miramax flick. Estimated time: 6 mins. Here's your coffee sir, booger-free. Sheep are beautiful creatures. My bad. Mind you I am 20 years old (born a year after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back), and the reason I got interested in it was because I saw the Rst store become a dispensary, so thats when I knew Jay and Silent Bob were actually stoner characters. Jay: Poor Dante. I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature? I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah! Goals Steal Jewels. [to Silent Bob] Dante Hicks: You should be. Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back | 20 Question Movie Multiple Choice Quiz. Teen #1: Youse guys need to turn those frowns upside down, and I got just the thing for that we call it DOOBIE SNACKS! Just take it from "It's a good course.". Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for. Eew, man, she had '70s bush. This store sure does suck ass, doesn't it? She is too fine. See? Jay: Backup on the way Sissy: Fanedit Running Time: 128. The site's critical consensus reads, "Fans can expect a good laugh as the cast from Smith's previous films reunite for Jay and Silent Bob's last bow. Silent Bob: Action, Gus or what? We had a deal with you on the comics, remember? Justice: Jay: Yeah, and he says you're the bitch and you're the butch. No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. I'm the pie fucker. [cocky] Steve-Dave Pulasti: You can't take it back. Banky: Smith announced in February 2017 that he was writing a sequel called Jay and Silent Bob Reboot and started filming in February 2019[3][4][5][6] and was released on October 15 that same year. [to Teen #2] Hardcore fans may glean something from the rest of the material on this DVD release, but there's no getting away from the fact that this is lazy, mediocre content to dish-up. I get no stains in my undies. Silent Bob shakes his head, Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own, They both take a beat and look at the camera, Throws Brent out the door of the van, flips him off as he's looking out the door as they're still driving, they smile and shake hands as Silent Bob shakes his head, Justice and Sissy are engaged in a fist-fight, James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs are being arrested by mistake, Bluntman and Cock-Knocker are fighting with bongsabers, Holden, Jay, and Bob look into the camera, Will pulls out his shotgun and blows the guy away, Jay and Silent Bob run in and grab the monkey, Willenholly realizes Jay & Silent Bob didn't jump, puts a baseball cap on his head backwards, walks in store, then Jay and his Mom arrive, Jay's mother walks into the record store, leaving infant Jay and Silent Bob in their strollers, to a customer at his comic shop, bending a comic's spine, Silent Bob gets stuck in an open sewer pipe, Jay and Silent Bob are hiding in the diner, Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob, Jay and Silent Bob are hitchhiking on a road late at night, the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob, after pulling a very long pube out of his teeth, Walt and Steve-Dave leave the premiere of Bluntman & Chronic, takes Jay and Silent Bob behind a wall, out of sight, Chrissy breaks wind loudly in the diamond vault, causing the alarms to go off, to Silent Bob after being hit below the belt by Cocknocker, Justice is almost repulsed when Jay makes a quick save, he kisses Justice's hand romantically; she smiles and moves to the front of the van. Sissy: Banky: What the hell? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. , none of you little fucks out there. Alyssa Jones: Nothing. Well, FUCK that. Passerby: Because I'm going to blast that flick on the internet tonight. Holden: Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (whose name is taken from Land of the Lost characters [1]) arrives; oblivious to the diamond heist, he claims jurisdiction due to the escaped animals, all of which have been recovered but the orangutan. ", "Smith Strikes it Rich with "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back": Also, "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" and "Captain Corelli's Mandolin", "Jay and Silent Bob's Creator Plots DVDs", "Little-Seen Kevin Smith Film Bows Same Day as Silent Bob", "Original Soundtrack - Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", "Some bad, bad news concerning me and GLAAD", Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Filming Locations,, This page was last edited on 13 February 2023, at 21:43. The pair jump into a sewer system, and Willenholly is tricked into jumping off a dam. Filled with cameos and in-jokes, the riotous road comedy stars Ben Affleck, Shannon Elizabeth, Will Ferrell, Jason Mewes. Get that shit the fuck out of here. Matt Damon: You know, the one about you and him and your "relationship"? So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck? 104 min. Technically, the DVDs are good, just as you'd expect from Buena Vista. Uh, three by my count, but close. Jay: Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Sissy: Another white boy in this movie? Oh, you like that, MULE. Kevin Smith closes the book-literally-on his slacker reprobates with this fifth entry in his "View Askewniverse." [to infant Jay] James Van Der Beek: Stars: Steve-Dave Pulasti: Oh my God. Yeah, but then they made "She's All That" and it went downhill from there. Whillenholly: New Runtime : 2 hour 08 Mins. Does your daddy know you give a nigga his coffee? the wrong way. Mules are GOOD! Feature length? Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a 2001 American satirical stoner buddy comedy film written, co-edited, and directed by Kevin Smith and produced and co-edited by Scott Mosier.The film is the fifth set in the View Askewniverse, a growing collection of characters and settings that developed out of Smith's cult-favorite Clerks.It stars Jason Mewes and Smith respectively as the two eponymous . Devil Jay 2: Jay looks at Silent Bob and smirks, but Bob mockingly imitates Jay's move. Angel Jay: Look at me. [takes his jacket off handing it to the Sheriff]. Jay: And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go. Jay: Thank you again and enjoy the show. Chaka's Production Assistant: Gus Van Sant: Where we taking it from, Gus? Watch Jay and Silent Bob: Rebooted & Revealed. [to Jay] Jay: Great. Ben Affleck: There are no more lines. There's no boogers in it sir. Whillenholly: Angel slaps Jay with his harp]. Justice: Ben Affleck: I must be the craftiest motherfucker alive. Published Apr 18, 2020 Jay and Silent Bob Reboot's outtakes reveal a hilarious running joke that doubles as a commentary on society's attitude toward Hollywood. What are you, fucking retarded? Will you fuck me when you get out? Fuck you, you already said half. Hey, watch the language, little boy. Let's kick 'em out! Good luck! No, bullshit, because I wasn't WITH a hooker today, ha-HA! Endless rambling chat from Kevin Smith and others does not make for great entertainment, and it's assuming that the audience has nothing better to do, which is just insulting. Then I rub my nose with it. Jay slaps his face], [while trying to get comfortable at an unfamiliar gas station]. Goddamn yous all to hell! Fuck them up their stupid asses. Jay: Yo, baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat? Un-ban us. Cock-Knocker has gotten his hand chopped off, cut to Jay outside, hollering at a woman walking past him, he turns to Silent Bob, who stares at him in shock, believing Jay and Silent Bob to be their stunt doubles, several security guards, led by Gordon, have suddenly rushed onto the set of Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season, with a black eye, appears out of nowhere and singing, Jay looks at Silent Bob with a questioning look. Jay: So what's the deal here? Miramax Security Guard Gordon: Don't you know fast food makes girls fart? Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. Jay: So? Suzanne is abducted by a Hollywood animal acting agency, and Jay and Silent Bob arrive in Hollywood. Jason Biggs: After that, I want to smell your titties for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. ^ Will Ferrell would later star in the 2009 film adaptation of Land of the Lost as Dr. Rick Marshall alongside Danny McBride as Will Stanton and Anna Friel as Holly Cantrell.